Transcript
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Welcome to how to save money without investing! You’ll be richer than your friends…
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Maybe.
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Here are four easy tips you can follow, and you’ll be surprised to see how much money you saved!
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Tip number one: never buy name-brand products.
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The apple on the left is a brand name. The one on the right is not. Which one should you pick?
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That’s right.
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The apple on the right side. Say no to brand-named apples!
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Buying a new phone?
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Get a foreign knock off.
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What about shoes? Get one made by children.
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Looking for a plane ticket?
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Book with Spirit Airlines. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
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Tip number two: Carpool everywhere.
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Carpool to work!
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Carpool with your family.
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Carpool to Mars.
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Tip number three: Get lots of roommates.
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The more roommates
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you have, the less rent you pay. The price goes down exponentially!
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“With that many people,” you say, “how will I sleep?”
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But we’ve got a life hack up our sleeves… [yay]
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With the traditional sleeping position, only one person can fit on the bed.
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But if you rotate the person 90 degrees, now it can fit four people!
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Having cardboard shields will also provide privacy. You can fill the entire floor with mattresses!
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Sacrificing comfort and privacy, you can save tons of money.
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With the growing number of people in your house, your landlord might be concerned.
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But if your landlord’s unconscious, he can’t evict you!
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Tip number four:
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Use a tranquilizer dart to take care of your landlord.
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Tip number four, part two: By impersonating your landlord,
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you can give yourself a discount.
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I, the very real landlord, declare that rent on all properties are discounted by ninety-nine percent.
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What’s under the tarp over there? Uh, uh, it’s a…
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chair…
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Now that you know these crucial tips, go on! Take this advice and save money.
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Before you know it, you’ll be richer than your present self. Hopefully. How much money did you save? Share with us in the comments below.
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